I moved back to the USA. I haven’t posted for a while because I think I have been a bit depressed. My medication stifles typical symptoms of depression like crying, changes in appetite, and sadness. Instead I get anxious and unsettled.
SD stopped speaking to me about a week before I left. I know he is autistic and that expressing feelings can be very difficult for him, but I wish he could have at least texted me goodbye. Although I wasn’t in love per say, he was very dear to me and I thought I meant enough to him for a goodbye. I still text him cute cat memes or pictures of my puppy every few days which I assume he gets so he knows I am thinking of him and missing him.
Some part of me worries that I did something to deserve the silent treatment. These irrational thoughts waver between my flatmate messaging him to spread lies about me or him thinking that I was only with him for his money. While I first to say I loved the restaurants and holidays the best part was the peacefulness I felt when I was with him. I have written him a letter to include with his birthday gift which I will send when my new driving license arrives. I tried to tell him how much his friendship meant to me.
I don’t expect him to reply but I hope he does.