The Missionaries

I was walking back from the gym this evening after some box fit. Box fit is where you picture hitting people you hate repeatedly while toning your hot bod. It is a good activity to do if you have a breakup because you develop a revenge body whilst exhausting your rage.

Anyway, I was walking back when I came across two clean cut, boy next door types who stopped me in the street. Assuming they wanted directions (this happens to me frequently because I have wide set eyes and look approachable) I was quite surprised when they asked me if I knew what a missionary was:

Me: Yeah y’all come to my house in America!

Them: Oh really, you live in America?

Me: (proceeds to tell them my address) Are you mormons?

Them: We are! Do you know much about us?

Me: Don’t you guys sometimes marry more than one person? Like what is it called… polygamy?

Them: That is actually a false rumor… are you religious?

Me: Not particularly

Them: Can we have your number?

At this point I am very flattered and give them my number so we can talk about Jesus at some point. They are going to try to convert me but jokes on them bc I am diabolical and will be trying to convert them to the dark side with tales of intrigue in my life. Winner take all.

To be continued.

Sincerely yours,



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