I’m back are you surprised?

I bet y’all were thinking that this was a one off, that like many bloggers before me I would not have the dedication to follow through. Well, you are right and wrong. Jokes on you because I am going to continue on my blog journey but the reason is I am sitting in the silent section of the library procrastinating. I am actually writing an article meant to be for the NYT or some shit like that but it is pretty boring and plus I have missed four doses of my happy pills due to the NHS being inefficient so I can’t stay calm and focused. I have a bit of a vendetta against the National Health Service because it is pretty basic but I know it is more of an underfunding issue. I’ve been speaking to some doctors and they agree; due to the lack of funding there is a lot of misdiagnoses and overprescribing. It’s a nice idea universal healthcare but unfortunately it’s not an easy solution.

I am going to be writing a lot about my romantic life because I don’t like to bother my friends about my inner dramas and escapades ALL the time so I thought I would make a little key so you understand what I am on about.

Exbae, 21- Exbae was my first boyfriend and we dated for maybe a year and a half in college. On paper he was excellent, an international athlete, student at a top university, and like super hot in an exotic way. Unfortunately he had some confidence issues and lacked a personality for the most part so we weren’t the best matched. He also thought I was fat (which I am not,) is potentially gay or asexual (the lady boy incident was a bit of a downer), and cheated sometimes. He was pretty good at hugs and tolerated me at my worst which is saying something. Sexual Prowess: C

Virgin Thief, 22- Hot MMA boy who stole my virginity. Ghosted me after I slept with him but we are on good terms now because I threw my shoe at him earlier. Goes to a mediocre uni and is A “big fish in a small pond.”Sexual Prowess: B

Psychopath bae, 20- Diagnosed w AsPD but is overall a pretty chill guy. Made his first million by 18 trading and financing questionable deals wink wink… has good taste in expensive cars and my favorite fwb because he doesn’t catch feelings and is kind of refreshingly mean and honest I suppose. Sexual Prowess: B

Asian bae, 34- A bit of a sensitive topic but a very attractive banker who exchanged lovely letters with me and took me on fun dates around Europe. After he flew over to visit me for a weekend I mistakenly thought that maybe he liked me back but when I told him my feelings after he said he was seeing someone else he LAUGHED at me. Probably the only person I have legitimately felt a connection with but you gotta move on. A bit pretentious and shallow with a taste for artists and models. Causes emotional pain. Sexual Prowess: A+

Hot Connor, 28- Hot Connor is really beautiful and has the most gorgeous sea green eyes but is also an overgrown fuck boy and likes nudes but never bothers to come actually see me or like, respond to my texts. It’s a very cat and mouse sitch but I think that if I can catch his missing dog I will win his heart. Rather juvenile crush I have for him. Works for his grandfathers megaconglomerate advertising firm. Sexual Prowess: A

Daddy, 30- Yes I have a sugar dad. He is a soft spoken retired banker who lives in London and enjoys food like me. Probably the nicest guy on this list but not the most chemistry tbh. Hoping to network through him to get a sweet job post graduation. Oh and he’s taking me on holiday next month woo. Sexual Prowess: B-

Gale, 22- Relatively new FWB, circumcised which is interesting with the largest dick I have ever had squeezed into my body. I am very happy to have an American bro friend because I was a bit of a loser with the boys in high school. Pretty chill and appreciates my forward approach. Sexual Prowess: A- (lower due to dick size)

Okay thanks for the read I gotta finish my paper now will write more later. Maybe about dogs.

Sincerely Yours,




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