Okay so I told my various friends, fans, and lovers on Insta that I was either going to start a blog or an organic, fairtrade cocaine plantation. I try to be an honest soul so as my mother refuses to fund the initial startup costs of the latter, I am starting a blog. I will not tell any of them about this because although personal dets are being altered I am thinking that they might not be ready for the true colors of my life. And I promise you that it is all true. Well actually I am probably an unreliable narrator due to my unique perspective on life and occasional mental instabilities but maybe that makes my tales more honest. I don’t filter them with lofi or mayfair or juno.

Some fun facts about me:

I do have a top comment on HONY. If you don’t know what HONY is an acronym for you are even more culturally deprived than me and that is really saying something.

I was unfortunate enough to be stuck with a lifelong tinder ban. No that does not mean I can delete my account and make another. It means I can never swipe right AGAIN.

I have a very special friend who is a pygmy hedgehog. Cashmere had a very rough start to life and as such she is a right sassy twat. That is some British lingo I have learned. This is a separate fact but also I am living in exile from my homeland. In England. There is a beautiful store called M&S  and many people think orange is an acceptable skin tone.

I have been in love a total of 1.5 times. Buckle up because this is an entertaining aspect of my existence.

Not really that fun but I am a 21 year old student who identifies as a heterosexual female. I prefer the pronoun “Xe”

^this is a joke I am sorry if it is not PC enough for you, truly.

^ The truly part is a lie I do not care and lack social inhibition.

Some topics that will probably come up a lot include my mental state, romantic life, and general non opinions on going ons and books. The researchers said I was gifted so take it seriously!

Sincerely Yours,


ps I think that the next big market crash will be in April 2017.


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